Friday, December 14, 2012

Birthday wishes

Frank Bednarz, who was with CCAF in the early going, and has since moved on to more lucrative intellectual property litigation, wins the Internet today by writing on my Facebook page:
As a member of the injured class of overlooked December birthdays, I have won for you a [voucher, certificate, valuable redemption offer] that entitles you to enjoy all of the Christmastime sales on or around your birthday in perpetuity. Although the face value of this victory is infinite, our expert economist calculated the value over the next 20 years (using aggressive growth rates and no time discount rate), finding that the class will gain approximately $200 billion over this period. However, I am only requesting lodestar for myself and my crack team of 30 paralegals, with a lodestar multiplier of 8. This is incredibly modest on cross-check; slightly less than 0.1% of class benefit over the next 20 years. Mathematically, fees approach 0% of the non-time discounted, boundless value of settlement. 
Happy 101st anniversary of Roald Amundsen reaching the South Pole!

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